How to Deal with Grief during the Holidays

Regardless of religion, colour or creed, the holiday period – whenever that may be for you – is a trying time for those who have recently suffered a loss. The loss of a loved one often throws one’s reality into sharp relief; one begins to realise their absence and wonder how it will feel when certain milestones roll around, such as the first Christmas, or first birthday, or first Diwali.

Because we understand your festive period will be filled with conflicting emotions, we have put together a blog to help you deal with grief during the holidays, and hopefully find some peace within your heart.

Avoid Cancelling the Holiday

If you and your family have always celebrated a particular holiday together, resist the temptation of cancelling the celebrations or avoiding them individually. It may seem easier to not confront the experience, but in the long run, it is actually more damaging. You may have a few interactions, responsibilities or activities that you don’t feel ready to handle, and that is okay! You can delegate to helpers who don’t mind supporting you. Most important, though, is to make sure you do not isolate yourself. Set time aside to sit in solitude, remembering and grieving as much as you need, but balance this with planned activities with your friends and family. You can do it.

Spread Kindness

You may find it helpful to nurture the gift of giving this festive period, and spread the kindness to friends, family and strangers alike. In the midst of your grief, it can be beneficial to lift some of the load from your heart by making donations and kind acts unto others. Consider some volunteer work in your local community to pay it forward, and lift your own spirits by lifting someone else’s.

Create New Traditions

A balance can be achieved between the new and the old, especially when it comes to holiday traditions. Sometimes it is refreshing to change up old traditions or create new ones entirely which compliment this new phase of your life. Consider incorporating some traditions that honour your loved one, such as lighting a candle or putting out flowers to commemorate them.

Ask for Help

It is vital that you remember you are entirely entitled to ask for help if you feel like you are struggling. You are allowed to ask loved ones for support, a hug, a cuddle, a chat, a shoulder to cry on. If you know someone who is grieving during the festive period, remind them gently that you are with them on this journey. If you feel like a support group would be beneficial to you, keep an eye on the South African Depression and Anxiety Group’s support group page for monthly events in your province.

Something to Remember

Your loved one may not be here to celebrate the holidays with you in person, but no amount of loss and grief can remove the love and treasured memories from your heart and soul. Grief is said to be the price we pay for having loved another person dearly, and from that perspective, we can be grateful that we have loved, and loved fully. The holidays can still be special time for you, your family and your friends. Take charge of the proceedings and allow them to move at your pace. You can survive this.