My name is Matthew and I have a story to share.

I’m hoping this will help people like me, who’ve been in the situation I was in, to come to terms with what they went through.

This isn’t about churning up painful memories.

It’s about realising that someone else shares in your pain, and understands how you’re feeling.

My story starts six years ago, when I was 21 and living my life to the fullest…

Friday Night Fun

Jeremy was my best friend. We were born in the same hospital, on the same day, but I came into this world an hour before he did – something I never allowed him to forget.

We were inseparable all throughout junior school, and when we reached standard 6 our fathers decided it was best not to separate us, so we attended the same high school too.

Jeremy was the best flyhalf this side of the equator, and I was tall enough to play lock, so we both ended up playing Rugby for our school’s third team, then second team, and in matric for the first team.

After school, Jeremy decided to take a gap year (which turned into three years), while I opted to join the working world and gain some experience in any industry that would have me.

One Friday night, out of the blue, Jeremy called me up and told me he was in the area and wanted to catch up. He said he was back for good and had lots to tell me about his travels around the world.

We arranged to meet at our local watering hole at 10pm, and when I arrived Jeremy was already falling over the bar with eyes like pee holes in the snow and Sambuca stains on his white vest.

I offered to take him back to my place, where he could sleep off his inebriation, and he merrily agreed. Little did we know that a short drive around the block would change our lives forever…

Out of Nowhere

I pulled off from the pub’s parking area and headed East towards the traffic lights. The arrow was green for the turning lane, which we were in, so I indicated my intention to turn and accelerated through the intersection.

Out of nowhere, a dark blue station wagon without it’s lights on jumped the red robot and T-boned us – hitting the passenger side door with enough force to send us 50 metres up the road in a sideways fashion.

It all happened so fast…

At first both myself and Jeremy screamed, but once we had come to a standstill I couldn’t hear a thing. My mind was racing, and all I could think about was getting the heck out of the car.

I managed to pull myself through the driver’s smashed window, and put my hands on my knees as I attempted to come to terms with what had just happened.

I looked over the car, towards where I thought I’d see Jeremy pulling himself out of the passenger window, but there was no one.

I called his name, but heard nothing in return…

Moving Forward

Jeremy’s funeral was a closed casket affair, and not a single eye was left dry after the speeches had come to a conclusion.

The coroner said it was likely that he had died on impact, which means I was sitting right next to him when he died.

There’s no use in entertaining thoughts of what could have been. Yes, if I had waited a few seconds before pulling away from the pub Jeremy might still be alive today.

Many experts recommend using physical representations of passed loved ones when dealing with loss, so Jeremy’s parents allowed me to get a stunning memorial heart made with a small portion of Jeremy’s ashes.

It’s bright blue with speckles of gold in it, because Jeremy and I always vowed that we’d someday earn our weight in gold.

I hope my story is able to help others who have lost a friend dear to them…

Love,

Matthew