The loss of a loved one is an incomparably painful experience that we all fear experiencing, but all will at some stage or another. Grief is a powerful process that many people struggle with, which is why we want to try lessen the blow for our readers. We have put together ten tips for dealing with grief after loss that may help you through the process…
Recognise the Symptoms of Grief and Loss
Grief is paved with severe emotional symptoms that are devastating to the mind, and often to the body as well. The bereaved will often suffer from aches, pains, fatigue and nausea over and above the debilitating sadness, shock and fear that they feel. Treat these symptoms with self-care practices and enlist the help of a healthcare professional if necessary.
Allow Yourself to Feel Fully
Many people become ensnared by the first few stages of grief: denial and negotiation. You can become paralysed by denial and restrict yourself from feeling your true emotions, and thus prolonging your grieving process. Allow yourself to feel and experience the grief, however painful, so that you can eventually begin healing.
Don’t Deny Yourself Support
When grief-stricken, it can be tempting to isolate yourself from others who ‘don’t understand’, but this is not the case. Friends and family know that you are broken and want to help you: try to articulate how they can assist you, things they can do for you, and allow yourself to vent to them. If you feel you require support from other bereaved people, you can join grief support groups.
Express Your Feelings to Others
It is incredibly important to express your feelings to loved ones. This process allows you to come to terms with the loss better, and release the mountains of tension within you. Let your supporters know that you don’t expect them to have answers, you only need them to listen.
Physical Activity Helps Healing
Physical activity is a good way for many people to deal with grief, as it is invigorating and encourages the release of endorphins. Certain activities are also great for relieving frustration, such as hitting a punching bag or heading to the driving range to smack some golf balls into the sky.
Maintain a Daily Routine
We recommend keeping a basic daily routine so that you can feel like you are managing your time and staying connected to familiar places and people. Encouraging this kind of normalcy in your life will allow you to feel more secure in the long run. To help your body stay in a regular sleep cycle, try to spend some time in the sun during the day and stay away from blue light a few hours before bed – this regulates your circadian rhythms.
Don’t Punish Yourself
Consider the way you look at yourself after the loss of a loved one: you are not the problem, you are not to blame, you are not stupid. Create a positive mantra to say to yourself in the mornings: remind yourself that you are worthy, and trying your best.
Refrain from Making Big Decisions While Grieving
Grief is an all-consuming experience at times, and thus may occasionally cloud your judgement. Wherever possible, postpone big decisions that affect your life, such as moving house, changing jobs, and the like. If you can’t postpone these decisions, enlist the help of trusted family and friends to give their input.
You’re Allowed to Take a Break from Grief
Despite what you may think, it is healthy to take a break from grieving by engaging in pleasant activities and enjoying yourself. If you are out with family and friends and momentarily ‘forget’ about your grief, that is perfectly okay, and actually necessary. Much of grief is learning how to balance being focused on the loss with a way to be in the world without your loved one. Allow yourself to engage in relaxing, recreational activities either by yourself or with loved ones.
There is No Right Way to Grieve
Grief is an unpredictable process for every single person that experiences it, across gender, age, status and all manner of social and biological differences. Your experience with grief does not have to be similar to anyone else’s, and anyone who tells you so can buzz off… However, if you are feeling exceptionally anxious, not grieving at all, not sleeping well for a long period, avoiding your feelings or resulting to substance abuse, you may need some professional help to have a smoother grieving process.
Stay connected with Loving Ashes for more helpful articles on grief, gratitude and love. You can contact us for more information about our memorial orbs.
